This year so far I have

-lost 18lbs

-ridden 137 hours

-gone 1002 miles

-done intervals until I almost puked

-hung in the derby unitl Dekka hill

....and have managed to come in at 13/15 overall for my class at the Marysville team relay. WTF. I gotta say, is this even worth it? I am killing myself mentally, physically, and emotionally, riding in horrible conditions, denying myself cake and beer, spending time away from my family, and am spending more money than I should on parts, gear, and entry fees.  To get 13/15. I really wanted to make a glorious kickoff race story for this one. I wanted to celebrate the team coming together and absolutely killing it. I wanted to feel all warm and fuzzy and ready to take on the season head on. Right now, I just want to say fuck it and just ride my bike. Is this my limit? Is this where the well ends? Is this all I am willing to give to this sport anymore? Dont know what I will do at this point. Fuck.